Ben Franklin / John Adams in Paris

Benjamin Franklin

John Adams found the affairs of the Paris office to be in serious disarray. Franklin had been too occupied with his private life to concern himself with routine matters. It fell to Adams to manage these functions. Clearly the personalities of Ben Franklin and John Adams were at opposite poles. They perceived their responsibilities differently. Their relationship had its ups and downs. This was one of their low moments.

Ben Franklin: Are you coming to dinner with us tonight?

John Adams: I think I’ll have a light meal here in my room and continue my work.

John Adams

Franklin: I’ve been observing you these past two weeks and I must say that the most important work you could do you have left undone.

Adams: I beg your pardon.

Franklin: Don’t beg. It doesn’t become you.

Adams: Would you kindly speak clearly. What important work have I left undone?

Franklin: That of making friends with our hosts. Granted, you don’t speak French but a smile or two might stand you  in good stead.

Adams: Those who smile at me are up to their eyebrows in spirits. I am not a drinking man. It is, to my way of thinking, an enormous waste of time dulling one’s mind and laughing the whole night through. I prefer to work here alone.

Franklin: I have spent many months making friends with our French associates. You have come here to undo the good relationship I have established.

Adams: If  you  mean placing your  hands on the rumps and bosoms of all the ladies in the dining hall and playing the fool at every turn, that is not why I’ve come to France.

Franklin: Unlike you, I was invited to France because my studies and my science experiments which were well known. I am, indeed, the only American that the king has requested by name. Do you know what face the women make when your name is mentioned?

Adams: I do not know nor do I care.

Franklin: They screw up their faces as if they had just bitten an unusually sour lemon. If you remember we crossed paths during critical moments in the earliest days of the republic. We met for the first time at the First Continental Congress at Philadelphia in 1774. You did not seem particularly staid then but we were in the company of a room full of federalist tight rumps. Here in Paris, among the fun-loving French, you stand out as an undesirable erection.

Adams: Dr. Franklin, you have a foul mouth. All because I refuse to get blindly drunk and make a fool of myself. When I saw you rolling around on the floor, laughing at what I would call lewd behavior, I decided I would remain in the safety of my room.

Franklin: Remember, they have to like you before they will accept what you have to say.